The sun shone ever so bright
on a soul dark and bitter…

Sipping another drag of nicotine,
quaffing another shot of something strong,
at least in the mind,
of the soul still so dark and bitter.

The heat bearing down…
trying its best to burn away..
at least at the edges of the bitterness…
and even the sun…
could do very little…

The birds chirping tried…
so did everything in its path..
but none had any effect.

Then it encountered something unexpected…
Hidden away in a corner of the world!

Something it had given up on finding…
a time before time itself.

In a moment,
lasting an eternity,
it changed…
everything changed…
existence itself..
was no longer what it was…

The energy, the optimism,
the joy and love expressed..

Beyond words,
inexpressible in action.

Even art fails to grasp
that which happens in an instant.

Some call it love at first sight.

Other call it fate..

Others yet call it destiny.

I just called it my destination.

Everything conspired,
sometimes cruelly,
sometimes sweetly,
sometimes stubbornly….

But as all roads once led…
led to Rome…

All roads led me to you…

And time is suddenly moving too fast…
Trying to slow it down,
but time is more stubborn,
than poor old me…

Two years, a lifetime, many lifetimes..

A brand new life - one barely imagined..
barely contained…

Happiness discovered; love infinite…

Outside of life itself was existence,
an adrenaline fueled ride into oblivion,
a life envied, hated, admired, reviled!

A path of self destruction,
collateral damage and catharsis.

Destroying everything and anything,
that which was, is, could be, will not be..

Close to few, far from few…

Living fast, dying young…
Anywhere but here,
Anywhere but now…

Flying fast… into the mountains…
and captured, not just attracted or found..
but captured.

Slow as a snail now. Days go by too fast…
Slow it down - anything to slow it down…

Walking a world covered in snow,
A cold heart cracked.

Stayed up late… and every night,
The lights flickering and switching,
Faster than I could keep up,
music, louder, louder and louder still.

I can feel the bass, pumping through me,
Existence, but a mere memory,
drinking, and drinking,
till the memories fade.

Walking out into the cold,
the snow falling,
forever falling,
walking with the snow crunching,
and it felt like forever.

Dragging on yet another cigarette,
on yet another dark day,
yet another grey day,
The sun might be brightening up the day,
but it wasn’t making a dent on mine.

Wandering back into the darkness,
the noise screams at me,
People shout and I wave,
I push and trudge my way to the bar,
for yet another drink,
with yet another drunk.

I smiled, I laughed,
and inside, I didn’t cry,
for all that would make me cry,
was being forgotten,

was a lifetime away,
and yet never quite forgotten.

But in this pain,
in this misery,
in these grey days,
I lived a life.

A life fuelled by drugs and passion
a strong desire to run
far far far away.

Today, now, looking back,
music, louder, louder and louder still.

A drink in my hand,
but no cigarette to my mouth.

Pain, misery and suffering but a memory,
something I barely remember,
not forgotten. A life that was.

All it took was a beat, a song, a lyric,
and in an opening,
the memories come back,
flooding as if they were always there.

It is yet different,
They are calm,
no longer running.

And I let the music seep in
and into my existence,
enjoy my existence
as I once myself was lost
in the music, in the bass, in the beat.

What I once stumbled across,
only while running away,
I now experience,
not entirely by accident,
but by choice.

The power,
the charisma,
the love,
the passion,
the bass,
the melody,
the lyrics,
the drugs,
the passion,
the love….

life… :-)

And now I see that I have reached the top,
the very top of a mountain,
and I see it all,
the life I led.

Standing here looking down on the life I led,
I can’t help but feel a little envious,
of the life that I myself led,
looking back with the sun shining on my back
and a tear in my eye

This accidental life that I led,
all because I was running,
away from something.

It might just be time.
Time to face that past,
that which I’m running from,
And stop running

Standing at the edge of this cliff,
perhaps its time,
to let it all go.\

Perhaps its time to take a leap of faith,
and let myself fly
and for the first time,
not away from something,
not towards something…
but to just fly..